-by Stephanie Wachman
Being committed to regular business development is crucial to the foundation of your long-term business success.
Good or bad, the primary way we connect with prospective clients is through networking events-conferences, association gatherings, alumni events, etc. Many of my clients tell me how uncomfortable they feel when networking, especially if they don’t know anyone at an event. To make things worse, figuring out who to talk to or how to break into conversations happening around them further adds to the discomfort.
It is not easy, and I know many of my clients would rather be anywhere else at 7am or 5pm, especially when you feel like you have to get a real sales opportunity.
How often have you gone to an event thinking that you had to sell your services, or your firm’s services, each time someone asked you what you did? Time and again, we suck it up, take a deep breath, and dive in, all in the hopes of eventually getting some opportunities for new business.
Faced with these pressures, it’s natural to experience some discomfort (many of my clients have shared that they feel total dread). This feeling typically starts well before you actually get to the event. “I feel like I am so Salesy when I go to networking events”complained one of my clients, and she’s not wrong.
The extra pressure we put on ourselves, thinking we have to sell our services and bring in new business each time we go to an event, makes it more uncomfortable and forced from the moment you walk through the door; and that’s because networking events are not selling events.
The key is to change your mindset. Instead of feeling the pressure to sell yourself, approach networking with this perspective:
Networking has nothing to do with selling!
Networking is about building the right relationships with the right people. Rather than trying to find clients who will meet your needs, think about the people you might be able to help, or people who would be a great fit in your network. When you focus on finding opportunities for other people, or simply expanding your network, it changes how you appear to others and expands your purpose for being there. If networking is not about selling, but about getting to know the right people, then your mindset needs to switch from, ‘What am I going to get out of this event?‘ to ‘Whom can I help at this event?‘ or ‘What can I do to support someone else here?‘ or ‘I’m curious to learn who I’ll meet.‘
Shifting the way you think about networking events will have a direct and immediate impact on the way in which you connect with people.
The Neuroscience of Networking:
From a neuroscientific perspective, a sense of fear or dread causes your brain to pre-program your approach to an event for misery and discomfort. If you program your brain for curiosity and abundance instead, then you will be programming yourself for “opportunity.” When you set your brain to opportunistic thoughts, your brain will release dopamine and serotonin into your system. These are feel-good neurochemicals that our bodies produce when we don’t feel anxious or threatened-they even allow us to connect with others on a deeper level. So, being curious and looking forward to what you might discover and who you might meet at a networking event, changes your brain chemistry and outlook.
Here are 4 practical ways to change your mindset:
- Keep it simple. Remind yourself that networking is not about selling. Networking is only about meeting new people and expanding your network with people you like or would like to get to know.
- Go in with the intent to form real, authentic relationships. Meet new people and introduce yourself-rather than pitch yourself. The rule of thumb is to introduce yourself in 14 seconds or less, with the expectation that you can continue the conversation, instead of sounding like a pre-recorded commercial.
- Set yourself up positively for an event by doing a pre-game warm up. When we go to the gym, we usually spend about five minutes warming up, and it’s equally important to have a warm up routine before you attend a networking event. Sometimes playing upbeat music before going can help-or even just reminding yourself that you are only there to meet people who might be a good fit in your network works too. So set yourself up to go in with curiosity over dread.
- Set goals and reward yourself for hitting them. Before every event, decide how many people you want to meet and leave when you reach that number.
Use whatever method feels right to you, or all of the above. The key is to be deliberate in both mindset and preparation. If you can go into events with confidence, knowing what you want to get out of each one, then you’ll have a much better chance at maximizing the results you get from them.
If you’d like to learn more about how to grow your practice without feeling “salesy,” check out the B|A|S|E Online Program, starting April 30th. For more information about the program, or to register, you can also email Stephanie directly at stephanie@coachinglib.com or call 720-232-3693.
There are limited spots remaining so make sure to reserve yours now.
